I can do it myself! I don’t need help! I can remember many times in my past when I believed that if I couldn’t do it without someone’s help, than is wasn’t worth doing? Ego at its best, Stupidity at its worst.
There is something to be said for doing it yourself. The sense of accomplishment … being able to feel good about not needing the help. Those are all valid for the soul, in my estimation. However, at what point do you realize that in order to reach the destination, the completion … the holy grail if you will, that you are going to need support in reaching your goal.
Dr. Wayne Dyer suggests that the word ego is actually an acronym for Edge God Out. Does that really make sense? Let’s look at it a bit further. In fact I will use a personal experience and see if this bears out.
I am going to get real open here. Many of you that know me, know that I have a passion for helping others. To support someone else in their growth, so that they can reach levels of success that they never thought possible. It is what drives me, day in and day out. However, the realities are that to run a business…. A profitable business, you have to do some things that aren’t always enjoyable. And they often feel like they are diverting me from my passion.
And this fact, that I am still far from financially profitable weighs heavy on my soul. And recently the frustration of that cold hard fact became a catalyst for me to begin to question whether or not this was truly to be my calling. To be of service to others. The realization and acknowledgment alone were very powerful for me. In that I have had to come to grips with my perceived inability to turn a profit up to this point in my business. The sounds of frustration in my mind were becoming deafening.
I had come to a decision that I couldn’t do this by myself. The belief that what I am engaged in is much bigger than me was something that I knew, but at the same time was unable to move past my need to do it all myself.
One night recently, I prayed to God. Much like I have come to do for many nights in the recent past. I asked him if this is what I was supposed to be doing. “God, I am frustrated and am growing tired. I am questioning my purpose. Please help me ….. tell me what to do. Give me a sign”
Whatever your will is …..And went to sleep.
The next morning, I was on Facebook. Out of nowhere a chat box popped up from a friend that I had not heard from or talked to for a few years. I met her many years ago as a volunteer supporting others in their personal and professional growth journey, thru a seminar company.
I was happy to hear from her! I didn’t think it to be incredibly unusual to hear from her even after all this time. And this is how the chat went …..
Hey How are you ?
I AM FANTASTIC TIM!!!!
And you?

That is great to hear!! I am good….. What’s shaking in your world?

Love being married to such a wonderful Southern gentleman! My daughter is in the Army now!!!

Wow !!! Congratulations …

Coming home to her dad’s in AZ this Sunday. Then here to New Orleans from the 29th thru 1/3/11!
Thanks Tim!

I am glad that things are working out for you!!

I want you to know how much you influenced my life, being my microleader!
YOU ROCK!!!
Thank you Tim!

Wow, you have no idea how much I needed to hear that today! Thank you

Any time Tim!!!! You and PSI has supported me tremendously in improving my life and I AM very grateful to all involved!!!

Gotta go! Love ya!

I sat their staring at the screen, my eyes beginning to well up with tears. Mostly because I was able to make a difference for someone else…. Yes, my passion.
But was completely in awe of the power of God and miracles. I asked for a sign and he presented me with one. At that moment, I knew for certain that I was living my purpose.
I let go of what I thought I should do, I surrendered to something bigger than me, to find my answers. It has now been demonstrated to me first hand, that I don’t have to have all the answers, and that’s OK. I don’t have to stop moving forward if I need help. I can surrender to my circumstances and ask for help. In this case it was God. But certainly it can be someone else that may be able to help me along the way to help keep me going, so I can fulfill my vision. I can now look to something bigger than me for support.
That could look as simple as someone having information or knowledge that I may not have. And not being afraid to ask.
Don’t lose sight of your vision, your purpose because you might not know how to get there….. Be humble and ask for support!!

Be well!

My mentor, my coach, my friend…….

I recently decided to take a long journey home. Back to my home town. Back to my youth. What made it so long was I had an opportunity to reflect on some fond memories as a drove up Hwy 99 focused squarely on my earlier life. They were my formative years.
A friend that was my classmate in high school was having a ceremony to honor her son. The ultimate sacrifice was made by this young man and his family for all of us. A son of Brian and Glenda Hyde. A son of Modesto, Ca. But also a son of Thomas Downey High School. I was honored to be there to honor him.

I was attending the first home football game of the season. I would see many old friends. Strangely enough though … to my surprise I also had an opportunity to spend some time with a mentor from my high school days. And one of my coaches too!

As I parked my car in the parking lot, I felt like I had come home. I felt loved, cared about, nurtured, empowered, Strong, purposeful and most of all fiercely proud. Along with me that night was my friend Albert. Albert and I are best friends and have been since 8th grade. So, to add to all of these feelings, I also felt many blessings for my friend Albert as well as this moment in time that would allow me to reconnect with so many great experiences while I was a student at Downey.
As we walked up to parking lot to the ticket booth, I reminded Albert about the time that he along with some other hooligans and I were in the alley next to the football field, and started flinging garbage cans around and making all kinds of noise. Sorry Claire!!!

It just so happened that same night, a bunch of tires in the faculty parking lot got slashed. Yes, we were questioned about that from the Dean of Boys, as well. I know I got punished for it, but I honestly don’t recall what it was. I always remembered focusing on what I did wrong, and not the punishment.

Or the time, that I was hanging out with some guys in the hall. A guy walked by that I had been occasionally giving a hard time. He would usually take it …. But this time he didn’t. Since I was with some buddies, and I was mouthing off thinking I was a big shot, I now was going to have to go outside and fight this guy. I am thinking to myself the whole time I am walking … “this is stupid, but I can’t not fight the guy now, what will my friends say about me?” Pretty dumb, huh? It lasted about 2 minutes, he popped me in the eye. And that was it…. Done. At least I didn’t look bad to my friends, right?
We paid our money, walked in the stadium… Appropriately named Chuck Hughes Stadium for a great coach at Downey that I had the honor to experience while I was there. I looked around the stadium, it brought back fond memories… funny memories…. Dumb stuff too! Sneaking in the game without paying. Sliding down the “D” in the front of bleachers… but only as a freshman! Swear.

There were some highs for me in school. Running for sophomore president. Running for Downey Knight. Those were both an act of bravery on my part. I wanted to step up in my life, and I did. It wasn’t really about winning. I was really feeling like I was enough, I had reached a new level of confidence it my young life. The biggest high, was not making the freshman basketball team. I got cut. I was asked if I wanted to be a manager for the freshman team. I wasn’t sure I wanted too, my ego was hurt. It could have been humiliating for me. What about my pride. I decided to do it. I wanted to be a part of the team in some capacity. Anytime I had a chance to play basketball, shoot baskets or any other related basketball activity…. I did it. Being a manager kept me around the game. The following year….. After working really hard… I made the sophomore basketball team! A huge victory for me personally. And with all honesty I look upon that one episode often as a means of helping me get unstuck in my life.. even today. What was it about that event that I can learn from ….. what circumstances were present . I overcame a defeat and turned it into a win for me. I can use that information even today. How did I do it then? If I did it then… I can do it now!

I thought about the loss of a class mate, who died unexpectedly for what amounted to minor surgery. It was one of my earliest memories of having someone that I knew personally die. As a school, we grieved together, we pulled ourselves up and moved forward. Never losing the memory of our dear friend.

I’ve had someone spit in my face. Call me names. Coaches cut me from teams, that I thought I should have made. I had crushes on girls in school that I never acted on. Got the brush off, Felt alone, had great grades that I deserved, and got bad grades that I did and didn’t deserve.
Rejected by girls often. Threatened to get my ass kicked. Tried to be cool and failed, and tried to fail when it was cool … or at least I thought so at the time.

And in the end ….. what I learned from high school……. I learned about life. I learned that sometimes life punches you in the gut, but you gotta get up. I learned that if you want something important, you have to give an effort… your best effort. I learned that being popular is only going to get you so far. Your character will get you farther. With life comes death. We are all going to die someday. Cherish the memories, tomorrow will be here before you know it.

But most of all ……. Love your school ….. Why? Because, it’s your mentor, your coach and your friend.

It will guide you to be the best you can be if you are listening. It will give you the lessons you need when you need them. And though it may seem like it let you down …. It always finds a way of reminding you why you love it so dearly. And it never asks for anything in return…… Just love it !

God Bless you Thomas Downey High…. My mentor, my coach ……my friend.
икони

Lemonade ….. 5 cents. I can still see the sign as I set it in front of the lemonade stand in front of my house. Visions of pockets and pockets of money danced in my head…. Or not so much as it turned out. Hold that thought.

My brother is placing dollars into his safe in our bedroom. Yes, a safe. Why, you ask …. So his little brother…. Me…. Wouldn’t steal it. Seemed to me that maybe stealing it was easier than figuring out how to make it……

Have you read the book Rich Dad, Poor Dad? A book by Robert Kiyosoki . The basis of this book is how a young Robert learned about money and wealth from the examples of his own father. A hard working man. And his friends dad. And the differences that led him to understand how to respect money and understand the thought processes associated with wealth.

I suspect that many of us have similar stories. I have a story in that regard. What I learned about money, and how it shaped me and my beliefs.

My earliest memories of wealth and wealth consciousness was receiving a birthday card from my two aunts. It was one of those birthday cards that had slots in them, so you could place the pennies, nickels and dimes into the slots. The idea was to place the equivalent of a roll of coins into the card. I always got excited for my birthday. It was how I received money. I didn’t do chores, and there was no allowance in my house. Not sure if that would have made any difference. However, I always made a pitch for such a plan! I wasn’t able to make the sale. Remember those words.

I used to watch my brother, as he spent time with his grandfather. Yes we are actually step brothers, which as the yarn of this story unrolls, you will understand ever more clearly how our relationship with money and wealth evolves. Yours and mine.

My brother’s Grandfather was a very successful man in business. Saved money, made money. Respected money. Saw the value of money. Again we will get back to that.

I watched as we grew up , my brother….. making money… working hard, being of service, saving money. He had ambition to succeed. I watched this with envy as he would come home and place the money that he had made that day in his safe. I would only see this end result. He on the other hand experienced finding the jobs, working on the jobs, finishing the jobs, collecting his pay for his service to the customer. Those steps I never experienced. My impression was that money doesn’t require anything more than asking for it.

My experience on the other hand…. was to watch my dad leave the house to work. When things got difficult financially, he would get stressed. My mom would get stressed. This caused many fights between my mom and dad. So, money was causing this ….. that was my perception. My dad couldn’t make my baseball games. He was working. He couldn’t spend time with me. He was working. My mom and dad’s relationship was suffering. He was working. My sister didn’t get time with Dad. He was working. My brother… he was out making money. He had a relationship … with wealth consciousness. He didn’t know it, but I am certain that at some point he understood it.
So, I decided at some point that making money was hard. My family will suffer, I will suffer. It’s just a necessary struggle.
My brother dated when he was older. I did not. My brother had a steady girlfriend. I did not. My brother had a car in high school. I did not. My brother had and kept jobs. I did not. Are you starting to get the idea? His relationship with money was a healthy one. Mine was not.
I also tied my self worth directly to the amount of income that I created in my life.

Earlier, I mentioned that we step brothers. That fact makes this story so critical to that understanding of the correlation with money and how we think about it. It’s really pretty simple. I didn’t have the same information that my brother did when it came to money and wealth. Not anyone’s fault ….. just the facts.
But what is also true it what I decided about the information that I had to work with. I took it for granted that was the way it was. Struggle, causes family strife, children get ignored, no love, just a pursuit of money. A staggering belief for any child, wouldn’t you agree? I could have asked my brother more about making money. As I got older, I did ask.

My brother is a wealthy man, retired with a nice severance package. Married for many years. Never divorced. Lives in a nice home. I understand that was not an accident that he created this wealth and abundance for himself and his family.

I spent much of my adult years searching for something that I couldn’t find. Why? For many years I didn’t really know what I was looking for. Drugs, Sex, Rock and roll. Just living.. really just existing.
Personal growth seminars and removing me from negative influences was where I was able to begin to understand the science of wealth consciousness. The spiritualism of the Law of Attraction. It was then that I started to get my answers. I finally was searching for something real in my life.

I now own a home. I work for myself. A huge leap mentally and emotionally. I still have that little issue with my self worth being tied to money, and the ability to create it. The good news is that I still have the opportunity to grow in my life. I would love to move past the self worth issue, and God willing I will do that. Another growth opportunity on the horizon when that one is completed.

I would ask you to take a look at your earliest recollections of events regarding your beliefs about money, and how it relates to your belief about you. You will be glad you did. These events have shaped you. And you have made decisions about you and those events. And they influence you today!

Oh, yes…. I was saving the best for last. Earlier I mentioned that I would get back to an earlier point. That point I made about me and my brother being step brothers. Yes, that is absolutely true. I watched my brother and his grandfather visit often, is also true. My brother learning from his grandfather about success and money may or may not be true. I have no idea. My brother has never shared that with me. Not that he didn’t want to…. I just never asked. The perceptions are strong, but the mentors are many.

Ask questions, learn about your relationship with money. No one will do it for you!
May abundance be yours always !!

икони