Shortly before the end of the year known as 2010, I was on my way to a toastmasters meeting. For those unfamiliar with Toastmasters, it is a Leadership and Communication organization. I became involved to be a better speaker and well as to be a more effective communicator.

Something that I have wanted to be better at …. To speak my mind effectively, in such a way that I could cause others to understand my wants, needs and boundaries in a persuasive way. And yet in a non threatening way. It’s been a struggle for some time for me to be able to effectively do that. There have been times when I was better at it.

As I turn the last corner toward my destination, I passed a bus stop bench. I noticed a guy sitting there on the bench. And quite honestly, he was not just sitting there. I could see that he was angry, and speaking …. Loudly, most likely toward the street. Literally speaking to no one other than himself.
As I contemplated what I saw, there was a time prior to my starting my journey in personal growth that I would think such a thing to be quite strange. However, these days I find myself talking to myself often….. And yes, answering myself too! I think I do that so I don’t have to think as much
.
I let it go after that, focusing on my Toastmaster meeting. When I walked into the meeting I had the Toastmaster come to me and tell me that they had decided to change my duty for the meeting. I was a bit dismayed because I prepared for my role and wasn’t called prior to the meeting. I felt I should have been. And within a minute or so of open discussion, two other members joined in. And I felt as though this had escalated a bit more than it should have. But then again, I didn’t communicate my circumstance in an effective, persuasive way.
What came next, ties this all together. The meeting was completed. All is well….. Except, I was starting to feel like the guy I saw on bus bench prior to the meeting. I was frustrated, and felt like I wasn’t heard. Nor did I feel as though we had reached a resolution that I could feel comfortable with. It didn’t feel like win /win at all.
I go to pay for my breakfast. Hand my bill to the hostess. And suddenly as I am standing there waiting for my Credit Card. My hearing picked up on the song on the stereo system. It all came together at that point what the message and the lesson was for me. I heard at that moment the words “Say what you need to say, Say what you need to say”

OK , so now I am clearly in the middle of lesson and a gift at the same time. I stayed with it all day. Had a conversation with friend. I came to a conclusion. What I needed from this lesson was that when I need to say something, then I certainly need to say it. But the real lesson appeared to be considering how to say what I need to say so that I create a win/win situation. Which is in alignment with who I want to always be.

Saying what I need to say and staying in integrity with myself.
Had I not been paying attention to my surroundings I may have missed it. And knowing that I can’t pay attention to my surrounding if I am paying attention to my ego instead. I grateful for the gifts that were given to me! ~peace~
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