Do you recall dot to dot coloring books? Did you have them when you were young? I did. I loved the adventure of turning the book open with anticipation. I was looking to find just the right one… with lots of dots. Once I found the one that really appealed to me… the one that got me really excited, I would find just the right color crayon and off I would go on my journey. Excited about reaching the conclusion….

Recently, I was having a discussion with a new acquaintance. I was sharing with her a presentation I had just completed. In the presentation, I was talking about how I remembered going out for the baseball team when I was a kid, I was not very talented. But I had an ace in the hole. The coach guaranteed me a spot on the team. Back in the day, that was unheard of….. Today, it’s not farfetched. I really didn’t deserve to make that team.

A few years later, I tried out for the freshman basketball team. I worked hard, but in the end I got cut. It was a huge disappointment. So, I figured that if I worked harder, maybe just maybe I could make the sophomore team. And at the end of the day, I did make the team. It was a great day for me… and a huge lesson emerged as a result.

I was guaranteed a spot on the team…… but I didn’t pay attention to the fact that I wasn’t good enough, and I missed the lesson. Work hard, achieve and your success will be yours. Had someone cared enough to be honest and not submit to such a breach of trust? I may have learned the lesson sooner. However I wasn’t paying attention. I only cared that I made the team.

Life is often like a dot to dot picture. We find something to focus on. We have a starting point and we focus on the dots. (Each one a end result to an experience in our life) But that’s only part of the experience. In most dot to dot pictures, there were lines, eyes, texture that brought the picture to life. Just like in life, we move from experience to experience…. but did you pay attention to the lesson? Did you recognize it? Did we fully experience the texture and intricacies of the lesson? Were you able to pull apart the various strands of the experience so that you could fully appreciate the lesson? Did you read between the lines?
When you pay attention to the lessons and the event, its then that you can fully embrace the complete picture of your life!
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Shortly before the end of the year known as 2010, I was on my way to a toastmasters meeting. For those unfamiliar with Toastmasters, it is a Leadership and Communication organization. I became involved to be a better speaker and well as to be a more effective communicator.

Something that I have wanted to be better at …. To speak my mind effectively, in such a way that I could cause others to understand my wants, needs and boundaries in a persuasive way. And yet in a non threatening way. It’s been a struggle for some time for me to be able to effectively do that. There have been times when I was better at it.

As I turn the last corner toward my destination, I passed a bus stop bench. I noticed a guy sitting there on the bench. And quite honestly, he was not just sitting there. I could see that he was angry, and speaking …. Loudly, most likely toward the street. Literally speaking to no one other than himself.
As I contemplated what I saw, there was a time prior to my starting my journey in personal growth that I would think such a thing to be quite strange. However, these days I find myself talking to myself often….. And yes, answering myself too! I think I do that so I don’t have to think as much
.
I let it go after that, focusing on my Toastmaster meeting. When I walked into the meeting I had the Toastmaster come to me and tell me that they had decided to change my duty for the meeting. I was a bit dismayed because I prepared for my role and wasn’t called prior to the meeting. I felt I should have been. And within a minute or so of open discussion, two other members joined in. And I felt as though this had escalated a bit more than it should have. But then again, I didn’t communicate my circumstance in an effective, persuasive way.
What came next, ties this all together. The meeting was completed. All is well….. Except, I was starting to feel like the guy I saw on bus bench prior to the meeting. I was frustrated, and felt like I wasn’t heard. Nor did I feel as though we had reached a resolution that I could feel comfortable with. It didn’t feel like win /win at all.
I go to pay for my breakfast. Hand my bill to the hostess. And suddenly as I am standing there waiting for my Credit Card. My hearing picked up on the song on the stereo system. It all came together at that point what the message and the lesson was for me. I heard at that moment the words “Say what you need to say, Say what you need to say”

OK , so now I am clearly in the middle of lesson and a gift at the same time. I stayed with it all day. Had a conversation with friend. I came to a conclusion. What I needed from this lesson was that when I need to say something, then I certainly need to say it. But the real lesson appeared to be considering how to say what I need to say so that I create a win/win situation. Which is in alignment with who I want to always be.

Saying what I need to say and staying in integrity with myself.
Had I not been paying attention to my surroundings I may have missed it. And knowing that I can’t pay attention to my surrounding if I am paying attention to my ego instead. I grateful for the gifts that were given to me! ~peace~
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Who gets the gift?

A few days ago, I’m pulling into the parking lot. My appointed destination…. Einstein’s Bagels. I am there to meet a friend for coffee. It was a business appointment of sorts. As I was pulling in, I noticed a woman approaching a man. I could see from a distance him handing her something. I had concluded that she was asking for money or some other sort of assistance.

As I parked my car, I was noticing how I was feeling uncomfortable about the possibility that this woman would approach me. However, in this instance … the discomfort was more about the fact that I did not want to be approached. This is different for me … completely different from how I usually react or feel about someone asking me for money or help.
So there I was, sitting in my car….. And attempting to understand why I didn’t want to be approached today. It’s almost Christmas…. And I wasn’t in a real giving mood at the moment. That’s not a good thing for me. So the discomfort continued for those reasons.

I stepped out of the car, and before I could appear from between the cars. There she was. I listened as she explained to me that she needed some money to take her sick son to the doctor, and she needed enough for two bus passes. I pulled my wallet out and handed her the amount that she said she needed. I noticed again, that I was handing her the money reluctantly. Again…. What’s up with that?
I went inside and waited for my appointment. A few minutes had passed. I looked out the window and noticed that the woman was still approaching other people in the parking lot. I was annoyed again. I was feeling like I was lied to, and taken advantage of. So, as I am waiting for my appointment …. I am vacillating back and forth. Being upset, not being upset.
But then I remembered something that is usually always in my mind when I am approached by those that would ask for money from me. It was explained to me this way from a friend.
When someone comes to you to ask for money or help it is a gift from God. Unconditional giving is meant to give without condition….. ANY condition. The fact that they may has not been truthful with you, or may go off and buy drugs or alcohol…… that is between them and God. I had to embrace that at that moment as a reminder to give unconditionally or don’t give at all.
It’s Christmas….. Give unconditionally… chances are it’s you that receives the gift!

Merry Christmas!
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